KT NYC

cats, charts, colors, copies

The Lanyard - Billy Collins

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Summer is gone on swallows’ wings,And Earth has buried all her flowers:No more the lark,—the linnet—sings,But Silence sits in faded bowers.There is a shadow on the plainOf Winter ere he comes again,—There is in woods a solemn soundOf hollow warnings whisper’d round,As Echo in her deep recessFor once had turn’d a prophetess.Shuddering Autumn stops to list,And breathes his fear in sudden sighs,With clouded face, and hazel eyesThat quench themselves, and hide in mist.
Yes, Summer’s gone like pageant bright;Its glorious days of golden lightAre gone—the mimic suns that quiver,Then melt in Time’s dark-flowing river.Gone the sweetly-scented breezeThat spoke in music to the trees;Gone—for damp and chilly breath,As if fresh blown o’er marble seas,Or newly from the lungs of Death.Gone its virgin roses’ blushes,Warm as when Aurora rushesFreshly from the God’s embrace,With all her shame upon her face.Old Time hath laid them in the mould;Sure he is blind as well as old,Whose hand relentless never sparesYoung cheeks so beauty-bright as theirs!Gone are the flame-eyed lovers nowFrom where so blushing-blest they tarriedUnder the hawthorn’s blossom-bough,Gone; for Day and Night are married.All the light of love is fled:—Alas! that negro breasts should hideThe lips that were so rosy red,At morning and at even-tide!
Delightful Summer! then adieuTill thou shalt visit us anew:But who without regretful sighCan say, adieu, and see thee fly?Not he that e’er hath felt thy pow’r.His joy expanding like a flow’r,That cometh after rain and snow,Looks up at heaven, and learns to glow:—Not he that fled from Babel-strifeTo the green sabbath-land of life,To dodge dull Care ‘mid clustered trees,And cool his forehead in the breeze,—Whose spirit, weary-worn perchance,Shook from its wings a weight of grief,And perch’d upon an aspen leaf,For every breath to make it dance.
Farewell!—on wings of sombre stain,That blacken in the last blue skies,Thou fly’st; but thou wilt come againOn the gay wings of butterflies.Spring at thy approach will sproutHer new Corinthian beauties out,Leaf-woven homes, where twitter-wordsWill grow to songs, and eggs to birds;Ambitious buds shall swell to flowers,And April smiles to sunny hours,Bright days shall be, and gentle nightsFull of soft breath and echo-lights,As if the god of sun-time keptHis eyes half-open while he slept.Roses shall be where roses were,Not shadows, but reality;As if they never perished there,But slept in immortality:Nature shall thrill with new delight,And Time’s relumined river runWarm as young blood, and dazzling bright,As if its source were in the sun!
But say, hath Winter then no charms?Is there no joy, no gladness warmsHis aged heart? no happy wilesTo cheat the hoary one to smiles?Onward he comes—the cruel NorthPours his furious whirlwind forthBefore him—and we breathe the breathOf famish’d bears that howl to death.Onward he comes from the rocks that blanchO’er solid streams that never flow:His tears all ice, his locks all snow,Just crept from some huge avalanche—A thing half-breathing and half-warm,As if one spark began to glowWithin some statue’s marble form,Or pilgrim stiffened in the storm.Oh! will not Mirth’s light arrows failTo pierce that frozen coat of mail?Oh! will not joy but strive in vainTo light up those glazed eyes again?
No! take him in, and blaze the oak,And pour the wine, and warm the ale;His sides shall shake to many a joke,His tongue shall thaw in many a tale,His eyes grow bright, his heart be gay,And even his palsy charm’d away.What heeds he then the boisterous shoutOf angry winds that scowl without,Like shrewish wives at tavern door?What heeds he then the wild uproarOf billows bursting on the shore?In dashing waves, in howling breeze,There is a music that can charm him;When safe, and sheltered, and at ease,He hears the storm that cannot harm him.
But hark! those shouts! that sudden dinOf little hearts that laugh within.Oh! take him where the youngsters play,And he will grow as young as they!They come! they come! each blue-eyed Sport,The Twelfth-Night King and all his court—‘Tis Mirth fresh crown’d with misletoe!Music with her merry fiddles,Joy “on light fantastic toe,”Wit with all his jests and riddles,Singing and dancing as they go.And Love, young Love, among the rest,A welcome—nor unbidden guest.
But still for Summer dost thou grieve?Then read our Poets—they shall weaveA garden of green fancies still,Where thy wish may rove at will.They have kept for after-treatsThe essences of summer sweets,And echoes of its songs that windIn endless music through the mind:They have stamp’d in visible tracesThe “thoughts that breathe,” in words that shine—The flights of soul in sunny places—To greet and company with thine.These shall wing thee on to flow’rs—The past or future, that shall seemAll the brighter in thy dreamFor blowing in such desert hours.The summer never shines so brightAs thought-of in a winter’s night;And the sweetest loveliest roseIs in the bud before it blows;The dear one of the lover’s heartIs painted to his longing eyes,In charms she ne’er can realize—But when she turns again to part.Dream thou then, and bind thy browWith wreath of fancy roses now,And drink of Summer in the cupWhere the Muse hath mix’d it up;The “dance, and song, and sun-burnt mirth,”With the warm nectar of the earth:Drink! ‘twill glow in every vein,And thou shalt dream the winter through:Then waken to the sun again,And find thy Summer Vision true!

Summer is gone on swallows’ wings,
And Earth has buried all her flowers:
No more the lark,—the linnet—sings,
But Silence sits in faded bowers.
There is a shadow on the plain
Of Winter ere he comes again,—
There is in woods a solemn sound
Of hollow warnings whisper’d round,
As Echo in her deep recess
For once had turn’d a prophetess.
Shuddering Autumn stops to list,
And breathes his fear in sudden sighs,
With clouded face, and hazel eyes
That quench themselves, and hide in mist.

Yes, Summer’s gone like pageant bright;
Its glorious days of golden light
Are gone—the mimic suns that quiver,
Then melt in Time’s dark-flowing river.
Gone the sweetly-scented breeze
That spoke in music to the trees;
Gone—for damp and chilly breath,
As if fresh blown o’er marble seas,
Or newly from the lungs of Death.
Gone its virgin roses’ blushes,
Warm as when Aurora rushes
Freshly from the God’s embrace,
With all her shame upon her face.
Old Time hath laid them in the mould;
Sure he is blind as well as old,
Whose hand relentless never spares
Young cheeks so beauty-bright as theirs!
Gone are the flame-eyed lovers now
From where so blushing-blest they tarried
Under the hawthorn’s blossom-bough,
Gone; for Day and Night are married.
All the light of love is fled:—
Alas! that negro breasts should hide
The lips that were so rosy red,
At morning and at even-tide!

Delightful Summer! then adieu
Till thou shalt visit us anew:
But who without regretful sigh
Can say, adieu, and see thee fly?
Not he that e’er hath felt thy pow’r.
His joy expanding like a flow’r,
That cometh after rain and snow,
Looks up at heaven, and learns to glow:—
Not he that fled from Babel-strife
To the green sabbath-land of life,
To dodge dull Care ‘mid clustered trees,
And cool his forehead in the breeze,—
Whose spirit, weary-worn perchance,
Shook from its wings a weight of grief,
And perch’d upon an aspen leaf,
For every breath to make it dance.

Farewell!—on wings of sombre stain,
That blacken in the last blue skies,
Thou fly’st; but thou wilt come again
On the gay wings of butterflies.
Spring at thy approach will sprout
Her new Corinthian beauties out,
Leaf-woven homes, where twitter-words
Will grow to songs, and eggs to birds;
Ambitious buds shall swell to flowers,
And April smiles to sunny hours,
Bright days shall be, and gentle nights
Full of soft breath and echo-lights,
As if the god of sun-time kept
His eyes half-open while he slept.
Roses shall be where roses were,
Not shadows, but reality;
As if they never perished there,
But slept in immortality:
Nature shall thrill with new delight,
And Time’s relumined river run
Warm as young blood, and dazzling bright,
As if its source were in the sun!

But say, hath Winter then no charms?
Is there no joy, no gladness warms
His aged heart? no happy wiles
To cheat the hoary one to smiles?
Onward he comes—the cruel North
Pours his furious whirlwind forth
Before him—and we breathe the breath
Of famish’d bears that howl to death.
Onward he comes from the rocks that blanch
O’er solid streams that never flow:
His tears all ice, his locks all snow,
Just crept from some huge avalanche—
A thing half-breathing and half-warm,
As if one spark began to glow
Within some statue’s marble form,
Or pilgrim stiffened in the storm.
Oh! will not Mirth’s light arrows fail
To pierce that frozen coat of mail?
Oh! will not joy but strive in vain
To light up those glazed eyes again?

No! take him in, and blaze the oak,
And pour the wine, and warm the ale;
His sides shall shake to many a joke,
His tongue shall thaw in many a tale,
His eyes grow bright, his heart be gay,
And even his palsy charm’d away.
What heeds he then the boisterous shout
Of angry winds that scowl without,
Like shrewish wives at tavern door?
What heeds he then the wild uproar
Of billows bursting on the shore?
In dashing waves, in howling breeze,
There is a music that can charm him;
When safe, and sheltered, and at ease,
He hears the storm that cannot harm him.

But hark! those shouts! that sudden din
Of little hearts that laugh within.
Oh! take him where the youngsters play,
And he will grow as young as they!
They come! they come! each blue-eyed Sport,
The Twelfth-Night King and all his court—
‘Tis Mirth fresh crown’d with misletoe!
Music with her merry fiddles,
Joy “on light fantastic toe,”
Wit with all his jests and riddles,
Singing and dancing as they go.
And Love, young Love, among the rest,
A welcome—nor unbidden guest.

But still for Summer dost thou grieve?
Then read our Poets—they shall weave
A garden of green fancies still,
Where thy wish may rove at will.
They have kept for after-treats
The essences of summer sweets,
And echoes of its songs that wind
In endless music through the mind:
They have stamp’d in visible traces
The “thoughts that breathe,” in words that shine—
The flights of soul in sunny places—
To greet and company with thine.
These shall wing thee on to flow’rs—
The past or future, that shall seem
All the brighter in thy dream
For blowing in such desert hours.
The summer never shines so bright
As thought-of in a winter’s night;
And the sweetest loveliest rose
Is in the bud before it blows;
The dear one of the lover’s heart
Is painted to his longing eyes,
In charms she ne’er can realize—
But when she turns again to part.
Dream thou then, and bind thy brow
With wreath of fancy roses now,
And drink of Summer in the cup
Where the Muse hath mix’d it up;
The “dance, and song, and sun-burnt mirth,”
With the warm nectar of the earth:
Drink! ‘twill glow in every vein,
And thou shalt dream the winter through:
Then waken to the sun again,
And find thy Summer Vision true!